It's really hard to believe that my second year in Berlin is almost over. The last few months have really flown by and have been filled with more mixed emotions than I can fully keep up with, but at this point the overwhelming one is: Wow, am I really about to leave this place behind again, and all these people that I care about so much? As much as Berlin can make me want to pull my hair out at times, I'm really attached to this place and it really feels like I belong here. And there are people I love who are about to be an ocean away for awhile, and I can't say with certainty when I'll be back this time. It's really tough stuff.
This year has been really really hard. I have struggled with myself, spiritually and emotionally; I have struggled with my church, with the decisions being made and the priorities being set; I have struggled at my school, with the approaches to teaching immigrant children and the attitudes I've encountered among teachers. There are things I wish I had done differently, things I wish I had started sooner, risks I wish I had been bolder to take. And there are things that turned out differently than I expected that I couldn't have changed.
I wish I had taken my time getting involved in church again instead of rushing into things, giving into pressure and not setting boundaries for my personal spiritual health.
I wish I had started the year with clearer goals for what I wanted to accomplish.
I wish I had started certain friendships sooner.
I wish I had been more firm about my interests and desire to be involved at school.
I wish I had had the guts to talk to the music teacher earlier about assisting with music lessons and doing a special project. (Now we're doing one, sort of, but because our time has been so limited it's pretty short. She regrets starting so late too!)
I didn't expect to experience the level of conflict at church that I've experienced this year.
I didn't expect that church would become a source of stress instead of a place to learn and grow.
I didn't expect the level of intolerance and ignorance I would experience at my school.
I didn't expect that a country's politics would disturb me this much.
I didn't expect that people would make it so difficult for me to contribute freely what I was sent here to contribute.
But in spite of all of that, I am incredibly grateful that...
I have a wonderful church family with friends that care about me and value me for who I am
I got to have a special friendship with Ruth this year and learn how to walk alongside a younger sister.
I got to live with an amazing and supportive roommate who sets such a godly example.
God sent help at just the right time and spoke to me through "unlikely" candidates, blessing me greatly even in the last few months through new connections and friendships.
I got to spend a year teaching Turkish immigrant children in Berlin - something I dreamed of doing for at least four years.
I got to try my hand at teaching English, music, and a good bit of choreography!
I have learned sooooooooo much - though often the hard way - through all the trials and triumphs, and these lessons will be an important guide for the future.
It's so hard for me to leave Berlin because I love this place and I love these people so much.
And now I've got to try to enjoy these 20 days as much as humanly possible!
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
And pictures from our field trip too...
Someday I will write something about these trips... maybe... I'm totally out of the blogger rhythm...
The 5th graders at my school (there are 3 5th-grade classes) got to go on a 5-day field trip about an hour and a half away, near Neuruppin (a small town on a lake). We had a blast. And I took tons of pictures because I love these kids...
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The 5th graders at my school (there are 3 5th-grade classes) got to go on a 5-day field trip about an hour and a half away, near Neuruppin (a small town on a lake). We had a blast. And I took tons of pictures because I love these kids...
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| Klassenfahrt - 5th Grade Field Trip |
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